Fall From Grace
by DJMeep
Summary: After Jane shot Paddy, Maura turned her back on her, leaving Jane to suffer the emotional consequences. When Jane suffers a lapse in confidence, tragic consequences follow. Can Maura see the mistake she has made before it's too late? Can Jane survive this fall from grace? (Please read onto the 2nd chapter when trying this out. It gets interesting. I promise.)
1. Things Change

Hi. If you are a subscriber as of yesterday (July 1, 2013), please check Chapter 4 again. It has been updated and extended. Thank you.

* * *

_ For as long as I could remember, I have always wanted to be a cop. Ever since that female detective came to my class for career day and I saw how everyone, ever the boys, looked up at her in sheer awe of her presence, my choice was simple. I chose to become a cop and I chose to move to the "boys' team" and I chose to chase Hoyt into that basement. I didn't choose to have my hands skewered like Jesus on the cross, but I did choose to move on with my life. But life as a cop isn't all it cracked up to be. My best friend hates me and all the faith I ever had in making the right choice is gone. Sometimes, I hate that female detective for making me want to choose this job, but it really has nothing to do with her. That anger at her is really anger that I redirected away from myself. I just wanted to help people, now I don't even know if I can do it anymore._

Ever since what had happened in the warehouse, the once-great Jane Rizzoli was simply a shell of her former self. She pretended that nothing was wrong, but her drive was gone, as was the fire in her eyes, which was replaced by sorrow and guilt. Jane Rizzoli no longer exists and it's all because she has lost the support of her only friend. Though she vehemently denies that she misses Maura, Jane just like all human, misses the warmth of having a friend to turn to.

Following the last appearance of Paddy Doyle, Maura Isles was not herself anymore. She had become much colder, more distant. It was once Jane Rizzoli, who had befriended the "Queen of the Dead" and showed her what having friends was really like. And now Jane was gone or rather their friendship. Maura knew what her coldness and distance was doing to Jane and by extension the entire team, but refused to relent as in her eyes Jane Rizzoli had harmed the man who was her father, ignoring the fact that she had only known him for about a year and that he was a cold-blooded mobster. Rather than warmth and friendliness, it is now cold distance and indifference that rules the lives of Jane Rizzoli and Maura Isles, and neither of them wanted to try to change things because as far as they were concerned, nothing was the same.


	2. Officer Down

It was long time coming. They had seen this coming ever since Maura uttered those faithful words, ever since she had accused Jane of being a murderer. The problem was no one thought words could ever hurt Jane Rizzoli, no matter who said them. But they did.

Those words caused Jane Rizzoli to fall from grace and hit the ground with a thud and a couple of extra holes in her body as an added bonus. They also Dr. Isles to be forced out of the good graces of the entire team and the Rizzoli family, something one would never wish even on their worst enemy. It was just that bad.

* * *

_Earlier that day…_

"Hey! STOP! DO NOT MAKE ME SHOT YOU!" Jane yelled as she chased a suspect into an alley somewhere in West Roxbury or South Boston, she was not too sure. Jane turned into the alley where she had seen the teen run into, only to find herself facing the business end of a gun.

"Against the wall." Jane hesitantly agreed and backed up, while still facing the teen and his gun. "Now drop it." Jane stared at him with a stubborn glare and refused. She aimed for him as words rang in her head, Maura's words.

"_It's not up to you to play judge,"_ Jane aimed her gun at the teen. _"jury," _Jane's finger hovered over the trigger. _"and executioner."_ As Jane shifted her aim away from the center of mass, the teen smirked and a shot resonated through the air. At that exact moment, Frost, who was several blocks away, searching for Jane, knew where to look and he took off running.

The teen's shot hit her in the shoulder and her gun tumbled onto the ground. As Jane stood, shakily, in shock, trying to figure out what just happened. Another shot ripped through her body, this time through her chest, followed by another through her stomach. Jane's body leaned forward slightly, as she collapsed onto the ground, bleeding through the new holes in her already traumatized body. The teen turned, picked up her gun, and began to walk away while declaring, "That was too easy." Left alone in the alley, Jane pulled her battered body to a wall and tried to stand, but her legs gave out and she slid down the wall, back to the ground. As the blood pooled around her, Jane felt her life slowly fading away, so she dipped her fingers into her own blood, using it as ink to write her final message. Just then, as she faded from consciousness, Frost ran into the alley, only to see Jane, slumped in a corner surrounded by blood and holding her walkie talkie in her uninjured right hand.

There was a horrifying hushed silence as Frost ran up to an unconscious Jane, who was still holding her crackling radio in an unclenched fist, her scarred palm just barely visible. As he neared her, he said, "Oh god, Rizzoli," while reaching for his own radio and began screaming, "WE HAVE AN OFFICER DOWN. I REPEAT WE HAVE AN OFFICER DOWN. I NEED AN AMBULANCE AT MY LOCATION. IT'S JANE RIZZOLI. SOMEONE HAS TO NOTIFY HER FAMILY." He looked over the scene as he checked Jane's pulse, finding a weak, barely there pulse, when he saw her final words. As he read them, anger boiled inside him.

When the EMT's arrived, Frost informed them of what had transpired in that alley, only moments ago. When they put Jane in the ambulance, Frost asked where Jane was being taken, so he could return to his own car and get Korsak, Angela, and Frankie from the precinct and drive them to the hospital. The destination this time was Boston Medical Center, as it was closest to where they were. Normally, Frost would have also gotten Maura, but after the situation with Paddy Doyle, after Maura's betrayal of Jane, Frost refused to be in the same room as the much-despised medical examiner. While most of the precinct was not normally fond of Jane or Dr. Isles, for that matter, all of that changed after what happened in the warehouse. The entire precinct moved to Jane's side after the shooting, having seen Maura's protection of Paddy Doyle, a criminal and a cop killer, as the ultimate betrayal. It was not long before the precinct would once again remind the fine doctor what true hate was really like.


	3. Aiding and Abetting

"Dr. Isles, we need you to come with us," said one of the two stone-faced beat cops standing at Maura's door.

"What for?" Maura asked in an annoyed tone, not bothering to look up from her papers.

"You are being requested in homicide," the other cop answered with a hint of irritation in his tone.

"Homicide?" Maura asked shocked, finally looking up. _Homicide? They refuse to look in my direction, let alone speak to me. I wonder what they want._

"Yes. Now, would you mind coming with us? We do not have time to wait for you." Maura rose from her chair and walked toward the two cops, who escorted her to the elevator. Once they reached the third floor, the two cops grabbed Maura from either side and led her out of the elevator, down the hallway. As Maura opened her mouth to protest their manhandling, she noted the sad, heavy environment in the bullpen. When a detective, who Maura did not recognize, noticed her being hauled down the hallway, the entire bullpen erupted in applause, confusing Maura and once again reminding her that she is now a _persona non grata _on that floor.

When the trio reached their destination, one of the cops opened the door and roughly shoved her through the door, shutting the door behind her. As she grumbled and smoothed out her wrinkled clothes, Maura looked up and saw Frost and Korsak looking at her with unreadable expressions on their faces. "What is the meaning of this? Why am I being treated like a common criminal?" Maura demanded angrily.

Korsak smirked as Frost replied, "A common criminal? Oh, no, Doctor, you are far from common. In fact, thanks to you our best detective has been compromised. It is a rare ability, being able to influence her like that."

"Jane?"

"No, Doctor. Angela. Of course, we are taking Jane."

"There is no need for sarcasm, Barry."

With those words, Frost turned around with his eyes, clearly seething, and slammed his hand down on the table. "No. We are not Barry and Vince. We aren't your friends, Doctor. Our names are Detectives Frost and Korsak and I ask that you address us as such," Frost said, almost yelling. "Now sit down." Frost sat down and opened up a file.

"Why am I in interrogation? I have not committed a crime."

"We will be asking the questions, Dr. Isles," said Korsak, without looking Maura in the eye. Frost pulled a photo out of the folder and slid it in front of Maura.

"What is this?" Maura asked, examining the photo.

"It's an alley in South Boston."

"Alright. Why am I looking at a picture of an alley in South Boston? Barry? Vince?"

"No. YOU LOST THE RIGHT TO CALL US BY OUR FIRST NAMES WHEN YOU TURNED YOUR BACK ON JANE," Frost yelled, losing his composure. He pulled out another photo, this time of a close-up of a corner of that same alley. "You see those streaks of blood on the wall? It's Jane's blood. She tried to stand up and walk away after some kid shot her, but she couldn't. She was so badly injured that she was convinced that she was going to die in that alley, so she used her own blood to write a final message."

"What do you mean final message?"

"Jane was shot three times. Once on the shoulder, once in the chest, and once in the stomach. She was almost gone when I found her slumped in the corner of the alley. Now would you like to guess who the message was to?"

"Angela? Frankie? You?"

"No," Frost said. "You." He showed her a photo of Jane's bloody dying words. _Tell Maura I'm sor- _"She passed out from the blood loss, before she could finish it. Now to answer your previous question. You want to know why you're here. It's because of this message. If Jane dies, we will find a way to bring you up on every charge we can come with, starting aiding and abetting in the death of a police officer."

"What do you mean? I have done nothing to aid and abet Jane's death."

"Well, let's see if the court sees it that way," Frost said as he put the photos back into the folder and walked out of the room closely followed by Korsak. Maura sat in her chair for a moment, contemplating her next actions. She stood after a minute and went to return to her office. If Maura felt any remorse, she either did not show it or she refused to admit to herself.

Either way, she would not be visiting the hospital anytime soon.


	4. I'm So Sorry

Sorry, I took so long to update. I was busy trying to finish school. Anyway here it is. Enjoy.

Hello all. I added some more at the end, so please read it. Thanks.

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_Meanwhile at Boston Medical Center…_

"35 year old female with three gunshot wounds to the torso," yelled the paramedic as the gurney burst through the doors to the ER. "She's losing a lot of blood. She already flat lined twice," he continued as he pressed harder on Jane's wounds, trying to keep her alive long enough to reach the OR.

"We'll take it from here," announced the OR nurse as she cut off Jane's clothes and began to prepare her for surgery. A nurse walked in with a large bottle of betadine just as the other finished removing Jane's clothes. "We have two minutes to get her under and prepped," the nurse announced with a sense of urgency. The other nurse began pouring the betadine on Jane's exposed torso, leaving clean spaces, intended for the heart monitors. Two more nurses were rushing to place IVs and other wires onto Jane's increasingly pale body. The surgeon walked in just as the nurses began to drape her.

"What do we have?"

"Three gunshots to the torso. One is in her lung." By the time the surgeon reached the table, everything had been prepped and he began to open Jane's chest. "Get ready for gushers," he yelled as he finished opening her torso. The cut was followed by a rush of crimson blood that gushed out onto the floor of the OR.

"_Where am I? What is going on?" Jane yelled out to no one as she stood in a stark white room. The room was foreign and strange, but still felt somewhat familiar. She turned in a circle trying to see if anyone was there, but only got dizzy. She saw a large brown bench and grass form out of nowhere and decided to walk over to it. She sighed and sat down._

"_Jane…" a familiar voice said from behind her._

"_Ma?"_

"_Yes, Jane. To answer your questions, I don't know and," she sighed, " you're dying."_

"_Wait, so I'm dying and you're still in mind. Good god, is there nowhere I can escape you?" Angela gently smacked Jane's arm and laughed. "Wait, if I'm dying and you're here… does that mean you're-"_

"_No, I'm not. In fact, this isn't really me. I'm just an illusion produced by the DMT released by your body dying."_

"_Maura is in my head, too!?"_

"_Sorta." Jane simply raised her eyebrows in response. "Just go with it," Angela said with a smile and a wink. "Jane," Angela said with a completely different tone, "you are dying and you should not be. It is not your time and you know that. So tell me," Angela leaned in closer toward Jane, "why aren't you fighting?"_

_Jane stood with a scowl and a groan. "What's the point? I don't want to go back to a world where my best friend hates me for doing my job. She's the first friend I've had in a while, the first true friend. I don't want to go back to that." Jane sat down next to her mother, who promptly pulled her into a hug. _

"_Jane, you know that sometimes your ability to be a friend and your job as a cop will come into conflict with each other. Sometimes, you need to be a friend or a cop. You can't be both." Jane responded with a sob. Angela spent several minutes comforting Jane. The two women simply sat there as the younger let go of all of the emotions that she kept pent up inside for so long. Through her sobs, Jane continued to mumble incoherent words, but Angela just kept rubbing her back. The room began to shake and Jane looked up shocked and confused. "They're wheeling you out of surgery. It's your choice whether you survive or not. Just think first." Jane nodded and allowed the room to fade._

Jane's surgeon sighed as he walked out of the OR and followed Jane to the recovery room. He sighed as he grabbed the chart off of the end of her bed. He rubbed his head as he finished his notes. When he was done, he turned on his heel and proceeded toward the waiting room to face Jane's waiting family. He pushed through the doors and said "Family of Jane Rizzoli?" Immediately, a woman, who he assumed was the mother, and five men rushed toward him. They all began to open their mouths to bombard him with questions, but in the end only one voice, a female voice, spoke.

"Is my daughter alright?"

"She is alive. As for alright, I cannot say for sure. She nearly died in the ambulance and on the table. And now," he exhaled, "it seems that she may be in a coma. Since, there was no brain damage; I am assuming that it is her mind and body's way of coping with the trauma."

"Can we see her?" asked one of the young men with a tired, concern-laden voice.

"Yes, in a few minutes, when we have her settled in. Just be prepared, she lost a lot of blood, so she is hooked up to a lot of IVs."

"Thank you. Dr. -"

"Williamson. Curtis Williamson," he replied with a smile. "And you're welcome." He turned and walked back to see Jane off to her room.

* * *

_Meanwhile, in Newton at the home of Dr. Maura Isles…_

Maura was leaning back against her island in the kitchen, whether or not she was entirely conscious at the moment was debatable. In one hand, she clutched a bottle of vodka, which contained only a few drops at the bottom, and in the other, she clutched a picture frame,holding it close to her heart. She had been crying and was still holding on to the Smirnoff bottle like it was a lifeline of some sort. Then she began to sob, once more, and she managed to choke out, just four words, "I'm so sorry… Jane."

Through her sobs, she realized something. Everything that had happened to Jane, her loss of confidence, the shooting, everything, was her fault. If she hadn't chosen Doyle over her friendship, if she hadn't turned her back on Jane, if she hadn't been such a... such a... she couldn't find the right words to describe her behavior, so she settled on: bitch. If none of those things had happened, then Jane would be ok, they would be ok. But instead she made a choice, the wrong choice, and now she had driven all the people who cared away, leaving her all alone in her guilt, her facade crumbling.

Maura soon realized, however, that she had burned all her bridges and was stranded on her island alone to deal with the mess she had made. Maura could only hope that maybe someone would even acknowledge her because there was no way that any Rizzoli or member of the Boston Police Department would let her off the hook that easily. Maura knew that she needed to do something to get Jane back and just as she finished that thought, she slumped into unconsciousness, the alcohol finally getting to her.


	5. Reviewing

Jane opened her eyes and immediately became aware of the pain in her chest. She shifted her head to see that her entire torso was swaddled in thick and somewhat blood-saturated gauze. She was vaguely aware of her surroundings, but the details were somewhat foggy. She turned her head to the side and realized she was in an empty room. _Weird…_ Jane heard a chair creak next to her, so she turned her head to the other side and saw her grandmother. "Grams," Jane breathed.

"Jane," she said with a smile. Jane's eyes began to well up tears and soon tears began to cascade down her face. "Oh, sweetie. Why are you crying?"

"You're here an-and you died 10 years ago." Jane's grandmother nodded. "I'm dead," Jane sobbed, "aren't I?"

Jane's grandmother stood and sat next to Jane on the bed. "No. You're in coma. One _you_ put yourself in," she said while rubbing Jane's arm.

"What do you mean?" Jane sniffled, looking up at her Grams with hopeful eyes.

"Part of you doesn't _want_ to wake up. You to want to punish someone. Yourself," she trailed off, "perhaps," she finished quietly. "Come on, Janie. Let's take a walk," she gestured. Jane sat up and was shocked to see that her bandages had disappeared. She was instead in the same outfit that she had been wearing earlier that same day.

"Where are we doing?" asked Jane in a child-like voice.

"To review."

"What do you mean, Grams? Review what?"

"We're going to take about how you let all of this happen. We need to take about how you let a KID, a mere child, gun you down in an alley. You let him do it because you lost faith in yourself, but I need you to tell me why."

"I lost the will to live… I guess," Jane said nonchalantly. "She was my friend. My BEST friend and she turned her back on me. She chose a fucking mobster over me. She left me alone to suffer. No one was _ever _there for me, like Maura was. Ma always tried, but she never really understood the 'cop thing.' Maura did- I thought she did. And now," Jane teared up and sighed, "now, I'm all alone." Jane stood and turned to her grandmother, her eyes filled with pain. "…again. And I am pissed off." Jane raised her arms in frustration.

"I'm pissed that because I did _MY_," Jane pointed at herself, "fucking job, I lost my best friend. My best friend chose a mobster, a murderer, over me just because I had to do my job and protect my own ass and my partner's. Because I didn't want to get shot and now I did." Jane turned away from her grandmother and let out a scream that was almost animalistic in nature, one that expressed all that she had been feeling and repressing for months: pain, grief, guilt, sadness, betrayal.

Then, she began to cry. Jane's grandmother pulled her into hug and gently stroked her head as Jane cried into her shoulder. "Grams, what am I supposed to do? Everyone looks at me like I'm broken, like after the time Hoyt stabbed my hands. They all look at me with pity. I can't handle much more of that." She left out a sigh and said, "I just want things to do back to the way they were. Before all of this…"

"But they can't," added Jane's grandmother.

"Geez, Grams. Helping or hurting?"

"Sweetie, I'm just saying the truth."

"You're right they can't. She hates me Grams."

"Jane, you know what I think?"

"No, I don't, but oddly, I want to know."

"I think we need to review. You need to see all that Maura has put you through and realized that no matter how much you beat yourself up over this, nothing is going to change. She hates you. She treats you like you are worthless and you still want to go crawling back to her," she accused. "We're going to look back at all of what happened and you need to decide."

"Ok. I'll do it. Not like I have a choice," she mumbled.

"Jane, you don't," she laughed. She reached out and grabbed Jane's hand. The room around them blurred and turned into Jane's apartment.

"We're in my apartment. But when is this?" Jane said in a confused voice.

"You'll see." Just as her grandmother said those words, Jane say her past self sit down on the couch with a bottle of vodka and begin to drink from the neck. The scene in front of them fast-forwarded repeatedly to show Jane each time she nearly drank herself to death in her lonely apartment. Jane sighed and looked contrite. "Why did you do all this?"

"I was upset, but eventually after a month of trying and getting massive hangovers, I gave up because I knew I was still going to live to see the next morning." When Jane confessed, the room around them once again changed to show another past Jane, one that had clearly lost the will to live and was in a deep depression.

"Look at yourself, you used to be so filled with passion and now your eyes are dead. No fire, no soul, nothing. You really did give up, didn't you?" Jane's grandmother asked sadly as she stared Jane down. Jane simply refused to answer. The scene once again blurred, but this time it showed her shooting.

Jane watched as the first bullet ripped a new hole in her shoulder and watched the shock spread on her face. She also saw the next two bullets tear through her chest and stomach as she fell to the ground, weakened by blood loss. She watched herself pull her battered body to a wall with one arm and then slide down that same wall, her legs splayed out. She watched herself write what she thought was her good-bye message. The entire scene was silent and almost in slow motion. Jane turned to her grandmother and saw her distressed countenance.

Jane continued watching the event, filling in the gaps in her memory, as Frost ran up to her and fell between her legs to check her pulse. She saw him scream into his walkie-talkie and then at her. Then he saw the face he made when he saw her message. "Oh, Frost. I'm sorry you had to see that."

The scene again changed. This time Jane and her grandmother were floating above an ER. They both saw as the gurney carrying Jane's dying body burst through the doors. Jane's face was pale, ghostly pale and her shirt was ripped open, exposing both her bra and her gunshot wounds. Bloody gauze was placed on top of each bleeding hole, covering them and absorbed the life that flowed out of them as the paramedic leaning over Jane furiously pumped her chest, trying to keep her alive a little longer.

She saw her family and coworkers, no her _real _friends, come through the doors not long after her and sit down in the waiting room. Frost and Korsak left and then came back. Jane turned to her grandmother and asked, "Grams, where did they go? What did they do?"

"Let me show you." Once more, the scene changed, this time to show the interrogation room at BPD with Frost, Korsak, Maura inside. Jane watched the interrogation and watched Maura's stoic, uncaring face remain stone cold and unchanging.

"She didn't even care that I had been shot," Jane half-asked as she watched Maura leave the building without so much as a tear in her eye.

"That's what's odd. She didn't, until she did."

"What do you mean? You know what? I don't even care," Jane said miserably.

"Just watch, Janie." The room shifted again as Jane glared at her grandmother. It showed Maura drunk on her floor after her breakdown.

"So…," Jane trailed off. "She didn't care and then realized she did." Jane's grandmother only nodded in response. Jane twisted her face as she began to think. "It doesn't matter, now. Too little, too late. I'm not going to just forgive her. It doesn't work like that."

"Being a good Catholic, I am going to tell you to turn the other cheek, so to speak. However, Jane, as your grandmother, I am agreeing with you."

* * *

_Meanwhile in Jane's hospital room…_

Angela, Frankie, and Frost were sitting around Jane's bed, watching the monitors around them. They heard the shuffling of feet and the clicking of heels coming towards the door, so Frost and Frankie stood to see who it was.

It was Maura. As she neared the door, the two men body blocked her to keep her out of the room. "How is she?" Maura asked quietly.

"Oh no, you don't. You can't do what did and act the way you acted and expect us to just up and forgive you. Newsflash, doc. THE WORLD DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY!" yelled Frankie. "She's my sister and she's in that bed because of you." Frost and Frankie moved to lift Maura and take her out of the room, but just as they reached out to grab her under her arms, a shrill beep drew their attention elsewhere.

_Jane was flat lining. Her heart had stopped. _

Frost and Frankie continued in their action to lift Maura and drag her away, but this time for a different reason. This time it was not to keep Maura way from Jane, but this time it was to get her away from the door to allow the rush of doctors and nurses into the room to save Jane's life.


	6. Revival

Sorry for the delay. Unfortunately, I wrote myself into a cliffhanger that I had trouble writing myself back out of. Please enjoy.

* * *

Doctors and nurses rushed into Jane's room and the first doctor that arrived, an elderly man, immediately began barking orders. He yelled out the names of the medications that he wanted pumped into Jane's dying body, the ingredients to a life-saving cocktail. He yelled out instructions to send 200, then 300 joules of electricity coursing through Jane's weakening body... and then came the sound that he had been waiting for. The sound of life. As the beeping coming from Jane's heart monitor grew louder and more frequent, he pressed his fingers to Jane's neck, happy to find a pulse underneath them. He sighed in relief and began to scribble down all the medications that Jane was given. Once he finished his notes, he left the room, followed by Maura. "Doctor? Can please tell how she is?" The old man turned and a glint of recognition flickered in his eyes.

"Maura Isles? Is that you? I knew you looked familiar."

"My goodness, Dr. Tehani, it is you. You were my attending during my ICU rotation when I was an intern. Can you please tell something about Jane's condition?" Maura asked with desperation in her voice.

"All I can tell you is that she is in bad shape. I'm concerned about infection right now, but she seems to be healing relatively well. She has a long road ahead. The bullet fractured her scapula, which we fixed with metal plates. She won't need rehab for that. The other bullets both hit her torso: one ripped through her chest cavity and punched a hole in her lung, which we able to repair and the other went through her intestines and hit the renal artery. All the injuries were fixed and nothing had to be excised." Maura nodded and thanked the doctor, as she left the hospital.

Maura drove home in a state of shock and walked in her house on autopilot. She walked over to her fridge and pulled out a lime, which she sliced up and put salt on. She also grabbed a bottle of tequila that she had bought when she went to Acapulco the previous summer. With a sigh, Maura uncorked the bottle and took a large sip, which was more akin to a gulp, followed by large bite of the lime wedge in her hand.

Maura continued this process until she was too drunk to even sit upright. _I forgot how strong this tequila is. I can feel the effects of intoxication spreading to my limbs. Wow… I can't even move. _Maura decided to try to stand, despite her own advice and promptly fell to the floor, which luckily for her was covered by a fuzzy white shag carpet. _Hmm… this carpet is so soft and comfortable_, Maura thought as she ran her hand through the fibers in her carpet. Maura rolled over onto her back and tried to lift her head to look at the time, but instead… her head dropped back onto the ground with a soft thud and Maura Isles was unconscious.

"_I'm leaving, Maura. I got a job offer in LA and I start next week. Goodbye," Jane said as she left the headquarters of BPD for the last time._

"_Wait Jane. Don't go," Maura cried out desperately._

_Jane turned to her and said, "Why should I stay? You have made it abundantly clear that I am not wanted here. So tell me… what reason do I have to stay?"_

"_You have me."_

_Jane laughed. "Like hell I do. You're the reason I'm leaving. You've made the last few weeks of my life miserable. So, no, I don't have you." She sighed sadly and said "I don't have anyone." _Maura's body shifted on her pristine shag carpet as her dream changed.

_Jane was hanging by her wrists from a pipe, bandages still swaddling her injured body. She was clearly unconscious, her head was hanging and blood was dripping onto the floor from what seemed to be several stab wounds. She tried to move towards Jane, free her, but something held her in place. _

_She had to watch as Paddy Doyle tortured her by drawing the knife along her skin, drawing blood. It was kind of like the way Doc cut Dawn in _Buffy. _Within moments, Jane begged for mercy, for Doyle to stop cutting her skin. He obliged, but soon began taunting her, prodding her bullet wounds, causing Jane to cry out in pain. _

_Eventually, Paddy grew bored of torturing the injured detective and walked away, leaving Jane to suffer alone. After Paddy left the room, Jane began to cry, sobbing from both the physical and emotional pain. Maura began to cry, too. _

Maura realized that what she had done to Jane, treating her the way she did, insulting her, ignoring her, putting her down, was the reason Jane was in a hospital bed, healing from three bullet wounds. What she couldn't figure was how to fix all of this, the mess, the pain, she had caused.


	7. Get Out of My Life

Sorry it's been so long. I started college and it's been hard to find time to write. I promise to continue updating, but they will be rather irregular, unfortunately. Just know this: this story has not been abandoned. That is all. Please enjoy.

* * *

In the week since her cardiac arrest, Jane's recovery progressed smoothly. Her stitches had been removed and she was switched to a solid diet. Everything was finally beginning to look up for Jane Rizzoli. That is until she got an unexpected visitor. It was late on her eighth day at the hospital and Angela had left to prepare for work the next day. A small, quiet knock resonated from her door and Jane calmly said, "Come in," assuming that it was a nurse or some intern come to see her.

As the door opened, Jane turned her head to see Maura Isles standing in the doorway. Jane's clam façade instantly turned into one of anger. "What are _you _doing here? Come to rub my misery into my face, a little, hmm? What to tell me how I should have died? Well, guess what I almost did," Jane seethed.

"I know," Maura calmly responded. "I was there. It happened as Frost and Frankie were escorting me out of your room, rather roughly I might add."

"And yet, you came back. Why? What do you want?"

"I want to talk."

"Actually, I get the feeling that you have come here to add to my misery. Well, newsflash, I got shot. _THREE FUCKING TIMES._ Doubt you can make it worse, but knowing you—you'll find a way. I'm sure of it. So tell me, Dr. Isles, why are you here? You owe me nothing and I am nothing and no one to you as you so tactfully pointed out."

Maura pulled up a chair next to Jane's bedside and said, "I just want to talk. That's all. Promise.'

"Cuz _your _promises mean _so-o-o_ much. Well talk, then," Jane gestured. "Not like I'm going anywhere."

"I wanted to apologize." Jane simply snorted and mumbled something indistinct under her breath. Maura ignored her and continued, "I'm sorry for everything I did. For everything that I said. You didn't deserve it."

"Well, if I didn't deserve it. Why the hell'd you do it?"

"I was mad. I was hurt. And I took it all out on you. I'm sorry."

"Well, Dr. Isles allow me to inform you of something. No, I didn't deserve it. You had no right. Paddy fuckin' Doyle was just your sperm donor. _HE WAS AND IS NOTHING!_ I gave you my friendship. My family took you in. We gave you the support that you needed. We treated _YOU _like one of our own. And what did you do? You didn't thank us, no! You threw it away just because your sperm donor showed up into your life."

"Jane, I'm so sorry," Maura said with her voice thick with tears.

"Your apology means nothing to me. So you know what Dr. Isles- You can go fuck yourself and go crawling back to your sperm donor. I want you out of my life. You ruined my life, nearly took my job, and my life away from you and you think that you can just come crawling back because your frickin' sperm donor rejected you. You're dead wrong. So get the fuck out of my room and my life because I'm getting out of yours. I applied for a transfer. I'm leaving homicide."

"Jane, you can't leave homicide. It's your life."

Jane turned to Maura and declared, "You know what, _Maura_? You lost the right to say anything about my life or what I do with it when you picked Paddy Doyle over me. So, screw you, Dr. Isles," Jane said, stabbing her finger in Maura's direction. Jane leaned back into her bed and huffed, "Now, get out before I call security." With those words, Maura Isles once again left Jane Rizzoli's life, though this time it was not by her own volition, this time she had long since outstayed her welcome, if there ever was one to begin with, and was booted out.

* * *

After Maura left, Jane sighed and shook her head. She wondered whether it was _absolutely _necessary to be so harsh with Maura. Irrelevant of the pain Mura had caused her, Jane wondered if she had to do the same to Maura. _She did try to apologize, though. So what? She picked a fricking monster over you. Forgive her, forgive her one day in the future, but not now. _

_God, I can't believe I'm arguing with myself. _

Jane shook off her guilt and decided that for now Maura would have to suffer, just like her. She would try to fix everything later, once she got back to work. After all, no matter what department she was with, she could always mosey on over to the morgue and _finally_ talk it out with Maura.


End file.
